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トップページ英語メール英語メール"Disorder in the American Courts″【英検・TOEIC・ビジネス英語・英会話「英語でハッピー!」】

英語メール


こんにちは!
英検・TOEIC・ビジネス英語・英会話に効く
「英語でハッピー!」のトニーです!


今回もまた友人からまわってきた息抜き英語メールをご紹介。
マジメな場所での会話だから余計面白いのでしょうね!
どうぞお楽しみください。


From a book called "Disorder in the American Courts", and the
>>things people actually said in court, word for word, taken down and
>>now published by court reporters.
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Are you sexually active?
>>
>> WITNESS: No, I just lie there.
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: What is your date of birth?
>>
>> WITNESS: July 18th.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: What year?
>>
>> WITNESS: Every year.
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: What gear were you in at the moment of the
>>         impact?
>>
>> WITNESS: Gucci sweats and Reeboks.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your
>>         memory at all?
>>
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
>>
>> WITNESS: I forget.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: You forget? Can you give us an example of
>>         something you forgot?
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: How old is your son, the one living with you?
>>
>> WITNESS: Thirty-eight or thirty-five, I can't remember
>>          which.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: How long has he lived with you?
>>
>> WITNESS: Forty-five years.
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: What was the first thing your husband said to you
>>         that morning?
>>
>> WITNESS: He said, "Where am I, Cathy?"
>>
>> ATTORNEY: And why did that upset you?
>>
>> WITNESS: My name is Susan.
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Do you know if your daughter has ever been
>>         involved in voodoo?
>>
>> WITNESS: We both do.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Voodoo?
>>
>> WITNESS: We do.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: You do?
>>
>> WITNESS: Yes, voodoo.
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies
>>   in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
>>
>> WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam?
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is
>>he?
>>
>> WITNESS: Uh, he's twenty-one.
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Were you present when your picture was taken?
>>
>> WITNESS: Would you repeat the question?
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: So the date of conception (of the baby) was
>>         August 8th?
>>
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: And what were you doing at that time?
>>
>> WITNESS: Uh....
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: She had three children, right?
>>
>> WITNESS: Yes.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: How many were boys?
>>
>> WITNESS: None.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Were there any girls?
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: How was your first marriage terminated?
>>
>> WITNESS: By death.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: And by whose death was it terminated?
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Can you describe the individual?
>>
>> WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Was this a male or a female?
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Is your appearance here this morning pursuant to
>>         a deposition notice which I sent to your attorney?
>>
>> WITNESS: No, this is how I dress when I go to work.
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, how many of your autopsies have you
>>          performed on dead people?
>>
>>
>>
>> WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people.
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: ALL your responses MUST be oral, OK? What school
>> did you go to?
>>
>> WITNESS: Oral.
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
>>
>> WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: And Mr. Denton was dead at the time?
>>
>> WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I
>> was doing an autopsy on him!
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Are you qualified to give a urine sample?
>>
>> WITNESS: Huh?
>>
>> ________________________________
>>
>>
>>
>> And the best for last
>>
>>
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you
>>check for a pulse?
>>
>> WITNESS: No.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for blood pressure?
>>
>> WITNESS: No.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: Did you check for breathing?
>>
>> WITNESS: No.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: So, then it is possible that the patient was
>> alive when you began the autopsy?
>>
>> WITNESS: No.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
>>
>> WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a
>>jar.
>>
>> ATTORNEY: But could the patient have still been alive,
>>nevertheless?
>>
>> WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been
>>alive and practicing law.


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